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Showing posts with the label london

My Awkward Moment

I stood up and announced to my work colleagues with confidence,"Did you know a moment is actually a realmeasurement of time?" I paused for a moment to add impact, and the office fell silent. I was enjoying my moment of attention, and the fact that I, and I alone knew the information I was about to deliver. “A 'moment' is actually three minutes."
I sat back down in my office chair, happy to have passed on my wisdom. Information that I had no doubt would be passed on by the people present to their friends, they would enjoy their moment also, and would remember me for having shared this with them originally.  "No it's not." said Patrick "What?" I was taken aback, I was not expecting to be challenged. "It's not three minutes. It’s one and a half minutes actually." He continued. "It definitely is three minutes." I replied. I was standing up again, I did not expect to be standing up again this quickly. I expected to still be si…

Toilet Troubles

The toilet was broken, and I was the man to fix it.   I knew I could fix it. I was mostly sure I could fix it. The plastic pipe letting the water into the cistern had stopped working, and I had already bought the replacement, still flying high from successfully putting up a venetian blind the day before, with minimal errors. I was surely in the black in man-points, a toilet would be no problem, after all it was only two screws to undo and tighten up again. Then what could I do next? Maybe service the boiler, maybe build a new shed, solve the Middle East peace process? The world, or maybe the flat and garden was my oyster.
But first the job in hand, I had my replacement pipe still sitting in the Homebase bag on the side, my spanner in hand I began, I imagined emerging from the bathroom in a matter of minutes, another man-job completed more man-points on the board. "Do you think you'll be able to do it though?" asked my girlfriend Kat. "I'm sure I will be able to, after…

Sunglasses on a Train

There are many many many things that irritate me about travelling on the underground every day. When people stand on the left on the escalators rather than walking, there are signs every ten metres - read one of them!People who lean on the poles, while I struggle to find anything to hold onto so I stay on my feet when the train pulls away.Men's pointy shoes are another, why wear them when there is not actually anywhere to tread in case you tread on the empty pointy pointless bit taking up valuable space.
But there is one thing i just don't understand that confuses me more than all of these points, why do some people wear sunglasses on the underground? For a start it’s underground.  There is no sun, there is no sunlight. There isn't even any daylight, I just don't understand it. As a normal everyday human you cannot be much further underground and further from sunlight. What are these people protecting themselves from? The brightness of their ego? Remember that 80's…