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Showing posts with the label Toilet

Bad Toilet

I was in the toilets at work.
I had enough time for a quick wee before my lunch break, after all I didn't want to go to the toilet in my own time, that would just be wrong. I went to the downstairs toilets in the basement, There are no offices in the basement, so as a result they were not used as much as the ones on the second floor.  As I entered the toilet downstairs all was quiet, I looked at both cubicle doors, both were showing the green flash on the lock meaning vacant.
I breathed a sigh of relief, there would be no need for small talk whilst washing my hands. I felt I always had to say something if I saw a work colleague there, although I never really knew what to say in this situation, and I couldn't hear them over the incredibly loud air-blade hand dryer.
Better to bump into a client, or someone from the other offices at the top of the building, that way I could do a manly nod at them, without the need for making conversation. I opened the door on toilet one, and wa…

Toilet Troubles

The toilet was broken, and I was the man to fix it.   I knew I could fix it. I was mostly sure I could fix it. The plastic pipe letting the water into the cistern had stopped working, and I had already bought the replacement, still flying high from successfully putting up a venetian blind the day before, with minimal errors. I was surely in the black in man-points, a toilet would be no problem, after all it was only two screws to undo and tighten up again. Then what could I do next? Maybe service the boiler, maybe build a new shed, solve the Middle East peace process? The world, or maybe the flat and garden was my oyster.
But first the job in hand, I had my replacement pipe still sitting in the Homebase bag on the side, my spanner in hand I began, I imagined emerging from the bathroom in a matter of minutes, another man-job completed more man-points on the board. "Do you think you'll be able to do it though?" asked my girlfriend Kat. "I'm sure I will be able to, after…