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Sparkalaphobia - The fear of glitter.

The most dangerous season of the year is approaching far faster thanot you realise, ando with it comes a great fear and danger.

There are a lot of people who do not like Christmas for a number of reasons, the worry of affording presents for their families and the debt that it may incur. For others a lonely time and a sad time to reflect on the people they've lost. 
But for me it's the irritation of glitter on bloody everything. 
It’s not the actual glitter that irritates me, but the fact that it doesn’t every stay on the object it’s been placed on. And although I try to avoid it at all costs, I always end up with some of it stuck on my face.

I never know it’s on my face until I have that moment when I’m talking to someone, and become aware they are looking at me, but focusing on one particular place on my face, and I think "That's odd, why are they looking at me like that?"  And then I go to a mirror and look, and there is, glitter all over my face, and I look like a crap Roy Wood tribute act, except definitely not wishing it was Christmas every day.
I don't even have to touch it, I just have to be within five meters of some glitter, and hey presto my face looks like the ball hanging over a ballroom dance floor. 

Most of the year I only have to check birthday cards with the delicacy and precision of a bomb disposal expert to avoid it. But Christmas truly is the glitter season, and everything is covered - Christmas decorations, Christmas cards, if it's Christmassy it’s going to have some glitter on it, and therefore it will end up on me.
I say all this getting to excuse myself for something that happened just before Xmas last year, hopefully now you will see it more from my point of view rather than at innocent shop worker I abused in this incedent, it's a very stressful time for me remember. 
I was running late on the very last day of the working year. Whilst everyone was in a jovial Xmas mood I still had a couple of deadlines to meet before the office closed for Xmas.
I was hungry, I'd skipped breakfast to get a head start on work, and by 11am my stomach was rumbling and complaining. 
I needed food.
A nice simple cheese sandwich I thought, that would do it, I could have a quick break to eat it, and then carry on working and get everything finished.
And there was also that pile of Xmas cards waiting for me to open on my desk, but I just couldn't risk it, everyone at work knew about my loathing of the sparkly stuff, so no doubt the cards would be the world’s most glittery cards ever made, that or they would have just poured a whole tube of the stuff in the envelope, in a bid to keep me covered until well into the new year.
I put on my coat and headed out into the cold December air.
Half an hour later and I was still queuing in Marks & Spencer to get my sandwich, the biggest queue of panic buying shoppers in front of me,  the same two Xmas songs on loop, which added to the irritation levels rising inside my brain. 
I waited in the queue behind people buying Xmas decorations, while the shop assistant wearing a Xmas hat with elf ears insisted on individually wrapping each one, as the seconds and minutes I had left to use to eat lunch ebbed away.
Tick tick tick.
"Let me just wrap those for you" she cheerily said to a white haired old lady with enough baubles to decorate the tree in Trafalgar Square.  
Tick tick tick.
"No its OK I’ll do them individually, we don't want them breaking do we?"
Tick tick tick.
"Oh look the wrapping isn't very good on that one, let me do that one again for you... "
Tick tick tick.
I eventually got the front of the queue and locked eyes with the happiest elf in London, I slapped y curling cheese sandwich on the counter.
"Was there no one else here to serve?" I questioned "We are not all here to buy Xmas decorations."
I turned around to look for morale support from fellow lunch buyers, but behind me all there were in the queue were people buying Xmas gifts and decorations. 
I ignored this and turned back round to continue my rant.
"Some of us are still working and need to buy some lunch, and I’ve been in this queue so long that I now really don't have time to eat it" 
The shop assistant was staring at me in a strange and confused way, what was she looking at?
"I'm really sorry, I couldn't concentrate on what you were saying then. Do you know you have glitter on your face?"


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