The most dangerous season of the year is approaching far faster thanot you realise, ando with it comes a great fear and danger. There are a lot of people who do not like Christmas
for a number of reasons, the worry of affording presents for their families and
the debt that it may incur. For others a lonely time and a sad time to reflect
on the people they've lost. But for me it's the irritation of glitter on bloody
everything. It’s not the actual glitter that irritates me, but the fact that it doesn’t every stay
on the object it’s been placed on. And although I try to avoid it at all costs, I always end up with some of it stuck on my face. I never know it’s on my face until I have that
moment when I’m talking to someone, and become aware they are looking at me,
but focusing on one particular place on my face, and I think "That's odd, why are they
looking at me like that?" And then I go to a mirror and look, and there is, glitter all over my face, and I look like a…
I was in the toilets at work.
I had enough time for a quick wee before my
lunch break, after all I didn't want to go to the toilet in my own time, that
would just be wrong.
I went to the downstairs toilets in the basement, There are
no offices in the basement, so as a result they were not used as much as the
ones on the second floor.
As I entered the toilet downstairs all was quiet, I looked
at both cubicle doors, both were showing the green flash on the lock meaning
I breathed a sigh of relief, there would be no need for small talk
whilst washing my hands. I felt I always had to say something if I saw a work colleague
there, although I never really knew what to say in this situation, and I couldn't hear them over the incredibly loud air-blade hand dryer.
Better to bump into a client, or someone from the other
offices at the top of the building, that way I could do a manly nod at them,
without the need for making conversation.
I opened the door on toilet one, and wa…
I stood up and announced to my work colleagues with confidence,"Did you know a moment is
actually a realmeasurement of time?" I paused for a moment to add impact, and the office fell silent. I was enjoying my moment of
attention, and the fact that I, and I alone knew the information I was about to deliver. “A 'moment' is actually three minutes." I sat back down in my office
chair, happy to have passed on my wisdom.
Information that I had no doubt would be passed on by the people present to
their friends, they would enjoy their moment also, and would
remember me for having shared this with them originally. "No it's not." said Patrick "What?" I was taken aback, I was not expecting to be challenged. "It's not three minutes. It’s one and a half minutes
actually." He continued. "It definitely is three minutes." I replied. I was standing up again, I did not expect to be standing up again
this quickly. I expected to still be si…