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Showing posts from August, 2016

Always leave them wanting more....

Weddings

Scrabble

Sparkalaphobia - The fear of glitter.

The most dangerous season of the year is approaching far faster thanot you realise, ando with it comes a great fear and danger.
There are a lot of people who do not like Christmas for a number of reasons, the worry of affording presents for their families and the debt that it may incur. For others a lonely time and a sad time to reflect on the people they've lost.  But for me it's the irritation of glitter on bloody everything.  It’s not the actual glitter that irritates me, but the fact that it doesn’t every stay on the object it’s been placed on. And although I try to avoid it at all costs, I always end up with some of it stuck on my face.
I never know it’s on my face until I have that moment when I’m talking to someone, and become aware they are looking at me, but focusing on one particular place on my face, and I think "That's odd, why are they looking at me like that?"  And then I go to a mirror and look, and there is, glitter all over my face, and I look like a…

Bad Toilet

I was in the toilets at work.
I had enough time for a quick wee before my lunch break, after all I didn't want to go to the toilet in my own time, that would just be wrong. I went to the downstairs toilets in the basement, There are no offices in the basement, so as a result they were not used as much as the ones on the second floor.  As I entered the toilet downstairs all was quiet, I looked at both cubicle doors, both were showing the green flash on the lock meaning vacant.
I breathed a sigh of relief, there would be no need for small talk whilst washing my hands. I felt I always had to say something if I saw a work colleague there, although I never really knew what to say in this situation, and I couldn't hear them over the incredibly loud air-blade hand dryer.
Better to bump into a client, or someone from the other offices at the top of the building, that way I could do a manly nod at them, without the need for making conversation. I opened the door on toilet one, and wa…

Tanning

Water fight

Always Watching

Doughnuts

My Awkward Moment

I stood up and announced to my work colleagues with confidence,"Did you know a moment is actually a realmeasurement of time?" I paused for a moment to add impact, and the office fell silent. I was enjoying my moment of attention, and the fact that I, and I alone knew the information I was about to deliver. “A 'moment' is actually three minutes."
I sat back down in my office chair, happy to have passed on my wisdom. Information that I had no doubt would be passed on by the people present to their friends, they would enjoy their moment also, and would remember me for having shared this with them originally.  "No it's not." said Patrick "What?" I was taken aback, I was not expecting to be challenged. "It's not three minutes. It’s one and a half minutes actually." He continued. "It definitely is three minutes." I replied. I was standing up again, I did not expect to be standing up again this quickly. I expected to still be si…

Tarka