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My Awkward Moment


I stood up and announced to my work colleagues with confidence, "Did you know a moment is actually a real measurement of time?"
I paused for a moment to add impact, and the office fell silent. I was enjoying my moment of attention, and the fact that I, and I alone knew the information I was about to deliver.
“A 'moment' is actually three minutes."
I sat back down in my office chair, happy to have passed on my wisdom. Information that I had no doubt would be passed on by the people present to their friends, they would enjoy their moment also, and would remember me for having shared this with them originally. 
"No it's not." said Patrick
"What?" I was taken aback, I was not expecting to be challenged.
"It's not three minutes. It’s one and a half minutes actually." He continued.
"It definitely is three minutes." I replied.
I was standing up again, I did not expect to be standing up again this quickly. I expected to still be sitting down whilst the others thought over this new knowledge and how it would alter their lives from this point forwards. 
I knew I should have just said my piece and walked away, Dynamo style. He never has this problem, there's no come back to you if you’re not there to discuss it afterwards.
"Im sure I'm not wrong on this, a bloke in the pub told me this year's ago. Where did you get your information from Patrick?" I asked, waiting for him to back down. He would see the error of his ways now, as would everyone else.  This would be the last time he would question my interlect. 
"Well for a start, WikipediaGoogleanswers, the Guardian newspaper, I could go on.  I just googled it, while you were basking in the limelight, I thought I'd find out more about it and I did. I found out you were wrong and it’s really a minute and a half.
Curse that bloody Internet with its accurate and fast access to information.
I sat back down again, so high one minute, so low the next. From Oracle to obtuse in less than a minute, that's a new record I thought.
Patrick was now holding court, everyone having now turned their backs on me, the fool that had been proved wrong.
I tried to sneak away to make a cup of tea, maybe it would all be forgotten by the time I got back.
"Where are you sloping off to Chris" enquired Patrick smugly.
"Just going to make a cup of tea" I spluttered, "I’ll be back in a moment"
I knew what Patrick was going to say before he'd even opened his mouth 
"And how long is that again?"



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